Clothing...


I am asked why my a lot of my brides are wearing white at their handfasting and why does it look like a regular wedding. The answer: because it's what they wanted. I know a lot of pagan/heathen/ceremonial magicians etc feel that they must have the ritual in full garb, in circle and with full altar and directional set up. Again, if that is what you want, then that is what you shall have.

In some cases though, paganism has grown for the first time and the previous generations follow more traditionally accepted religious paths. Sometimes the couple just want the vows to reflect their own beliefs whilst the ceremony marks a day for their families and sometimes they combine the two.

In one instance, after the ceremony, an elderly relative of the couple approached me and asked "Was that a pagan ceremony?". Knowing that the couple wanted things kept subtle I replied, "Mam, that was a spiritual ceremony".
Again, we must not hurt those we love in the pursuit of the dream day. Just let me know what you want to have happen on your day, and we can find ways to be obvious or subtle.







Welcome...

What is handfasting?

Historically a handfasting was a ceremony wherein the couple took their vows in front of their families without the benefit of a christian clergy. The tradtion was to stand up and declare you intention to be bonded in a relationship for one year and a day, upon which time you could choose to renew your vows or to walk away with no loss of respect or dignity.

Often with the feudal lords having 'Droit de Seigneur' the right of first night with the bride, weddings were intentionally secretive and quiet affairs for close family only, or were included into a more communal event such as May Day or Harvest Festival.

There are many ways to perform a handfasting and all are valid. A spiritual bonding, can be just for a year and a day, but is not legally recognized, however a handfasting performed in front of legal clergy is as valid as any other religious joining and legally recognized as such.

The symbolic tying of the hands together serves as a great visual for the guests and is a sign of the spiritual bonding of the couple. In my ceremonies I recommend making a 'witches ladder' from the cords, and hanging it on the back of your bedroom door, that way, each time you close the door, the little bells ring and remind you what brought you to that place.





Flax, Feed and Fodder

Gifts for a handfasting.

Making the cords



This is a personal choice by the couple, you can stick to the rules of 3 in everything to honour the cycles. Or you can simply make symbolic cords in colours that have significance to you, or simply to co-ordinate with the wedding party.
 I prefer to use the type of cord that you edge upholstery with, ro curtain tie back cords as they are easier to manipulate that ribbons, and I suggest that the couple make little bags with 'vows' inside them, that we tie into the cords as we knot them.
All things are possible and of course can be changed to suit your needs.